The Ones that Got Away

Today (January 25th) is what we Welsh call Diwrnod Santes Dwynwen, or St Dwynwen’s Day for those who don’t speak Cymraeg. St Dwynwen’s Day is the Welsh equivalent of Valentine’s Day so hugs, kisses and presents are in abundance. The background to St Dwynwen’s day is actually quite a heartbreaking tale, young Dwynwen falls in love with a prince called Maelon Brando, jokes, his name was just Maelon. Unfortunately Dwynwen’s father forbids her from being with Maelon and she is brokenhearted. As a result Dwynwen prays that she can fall out of love with Maelon and is visited by an angel who offers her a potion that will erase her memories of Maelon and turn him into a block of ice (dark turn there!)  If she drinks the potion the angel tells her that God will grant her three wishes so she wishes firstly that Maelon thaw, secondly that the hopes and dreams of all lovers come true and thirdly that she never marry.

So in honour of Dwynwen and Maelon who were the ultimate couple that never was, here’s a list of  fictional couples that came oh so close but ultimately didn’t get together. (Spoilers obviously)

  1.  Princess Anne and Joe Bradley – Roman Holiday

First off, Roman Holiday is a wonderful film and everyone should watch it, the acting is superb, the scenery is gorgeous and the story is that of a classic one of unrequited love. Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck have wonderful chemistry and watching them slowly fall in love over the course of a day in Rome is enough alone to make you misty-eyed, add this to the sucker-punch ending and you’ll be wondering what you ever did to them to make you cry so bad.

roman-h

2.  Jack and Rose – Titanic

Okay, so technically they did get together but their love was tragically cut short and poor Rose had to live 80+ more years sans Jack and settle for whoever her husband was (sorry Mr Rose’s Husband) I say poor Rose, I think Jack slightly edges her out in poor soul rankings, freezing to death in the middle of the Atlantic is hardly the most peaceful way to go. Anyone who doesn’t cry in this film from start to end is a robot, an actual robot.

yeahbutno
Actually, you’re not

3.  Éponine and Marius – Les Misérables

Tragic doesn’t even begin to sum up poor Éponine who is madly in love with Marius a young man who only has eyes for the prissy Cosette. Unlike some others in the list the love here is one sided with Marius friendzoning Éponine on several occasions and even using her to help get closer to Cosette. Éponine dies on the barricade both in Victor Hugo’s mammoth novel and in the musical version (not to mention the countless non-musical versions she appears in) whereas Marius survives and runs off with his darling Cosette. Sob.

stalker
Stalker Alert

4. Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanov

AKA Captain America and Black Widow, these two have crazy chemistry in each Marvel movie they appear in together with Winter Soldier being the stand out. They flirt, tease and even kiss each other (albeit to avoid being caught) and are always there for each other when times are tough. Yet despite all this Marvel decide to hook Black Widow up with the Hulk in what really is one of the most bizarre pairings ever, it was out of character for both of them and completely left field. It helps that Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson have insane chemistry but Marvel meddling seems to have sunk this ship pretty quickly, I’m not saying they have to be together but since Marvel seem insistant on each Avenger having some romantic interest could we at least get someone more believable than the Hulk and more interesting than Sharon Carter for these heroes? Please?

kiss

5. Jerry Seinfeld and Elaine Benes

Okay so the whole point  of Seinfeld was ‘no learning, no hugging’ but a special case can be made for Jerry and Elaine. They used to date as they frequently remind everyone, and they make some feeble attempts at rekindling whatever ‘romance’ they may have had over the course of the series but in the end they seemed to prefer being ‘just friends’. But in a world where 95% of the population is ‘undateable’ they should have realised that no sane person was ever going to put up with either of the two nutjobs, except each other.

ej

6. Queen Victoria and Lord Melbourne

In real life who knows? It seems that the real Queen Victoria may have had some teeny-tiny romantic feelings for her Prime Minister Lord Melbourne (nicknamed Lord M by the pint sized monarch) but the love of her life was clearly her cousin and husband Prince Albert. ITV’s (or PBS if you’re in the US of A) Victoria goes an extra mile in depicting an unrequited love between the two. Jenna Coleman and Rufus Sewell have such good chemistry that I was dreading Albert’s arrival simply because I knew he would put an end to the feelings Victoria had for Lord M. That said Tom Hughes who played Albert had equally good chemistry and so it became so conflicting to watch Victoria that you almost felt like the Queen herself.

lordm

7.  Phoebe and…anyone in Friends

Anyone who watches Friends will know that Phoebe eventually marries Mike, the most vanilla person to ever grace New York. There’s nothing wrong with Mike exactly and he’s a good guy to Phoebe but after 10 series is he really the best the city has to offer everyone’s favourite hippie-freak? I for one was hoping Phoebe and David would finally get together after years of being apart with him living it up in Minsk, instead ‘lovable’ Mike hijacks David’s proposal (David didn’t deserve that, poor guy). Then of course there’s Joey and Phoebe the one pair in the group that didn’t get together but should have gotten together. They were clearly on a different wavelength compared to the rest of the group and the two of them would even meet up for dinner together without the other friends. Phoebe taught Joey guitar and French to help him out in auditions and he gave up meat whilst she was pregnant so she could fullfil her own cravings, if that’s not sweet what is? A case can even be made for Phoebe and Ross (hear me out!) they would have been the ultimate chalk and cheese couple with Ross a firm believer in facts and evidence and Phoebe living in dreamworld most of the time. Ross is sweet to Phoebe, buying her her first bike for example and she’s always had a admiration for Ross (even keeping Science Boy magazine from when she mugged him as a child) not to mention the fact that they did almost hook up in the flashback episode. All these options and the writers went for Mike…

taxi

8. Chris Darden and Marcia Clark

Did they or didn’t they? Who knows, both OJ Simpson prosecutors seem pretty coy on the subject, with the occasional tease being thrown around such as Chris Darden claiming they were ‘more than friends’. It looks like it’ll remain a mystery and The People v OJ Simpson (which I must stress is one of the best things I’ve ever watched ) decided not to show anything more than a lot of eye-sex, holding hands and not so casual flirting between the two lawyers. Played fantastically by Sarah Paulson (take a bow) and Sterling K Brown (also, take a bow) there was so much chemistry between the two of them it was like Dexter’s Lab on steroids. Sadly, on television at least, it was never meant to be…dance

This list could go on and on and I’m sure everyone has their own examples of couples that could have and should have been together, comment to let me know and Diwrnod Santes Dwynwen hapus i bawb!

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